A Deranged Medium (Unfinished, goes with Chapter one of A Bullet Can't Kill)

It wasn't what I expected. That's for sure. The cream colored paint sparked my attention, capturing the light. The crystal glass windows shielded the sun, shining the rays throughout the yard. Which brought me to my next observation. The grass was neatly cut, layered and forest green. Everything was insanely perfect. It was so odd. After coming from a constructed, Victorian home, this was almost too urban. Freshly built houses lined the knitted street, making me feel instantly claustrophobic.

“Help with the bags!” Called my mom from the side of the large Uhaul truck.

My arms ached with the urge to throw each and every single brown box across the room and just give up. The last box that belonged to me lay heavily in my arms, weighing them down slightly. I could feel the desperation, the need to set this box down and be done. As my fingers let the small box slip to the ground, I turned to scan my room. Dim light shown through the multi-paneled window, illuminating the small room with a clean blanket of light. The comfy, light beige carpet squished and molded to my feet whenever I took a step. Lining my window was a small, carpeted window seat that looked rather inviting. After stepping over my mattress to reach it, I sat down on the window seat, peering out through the window at the people walking down the sidewalk. It was an annoying view. How could they be so happy when the lives around them could be taken away at any moment? Why did they feel the need to rub it in the rest of our faces? A tinge of jealousy grabbed at my insides, churning them.

I instantly turned my attention away from the window, having done such a ritual many times before. When things got to that point, I had an alternative now. I grabbed the thick, black book from my bag and hopped down from the window seat onto the mattress before me. The small black printings of the book filled my craving for a distraction almost perfectly; before I knew it, my eyes were shutting against their own will and captivating me in a deep, exhausting slumber.

The bright blood-red light flashed anxiously within arms reach. My fingers round their way around and grasped idly around the tiny silver phone. It had been weeks since I had charged my phone since I hadn't had a use for it. Moonlight probed aimlessly through the window, making my eyes squint ever so slightly. My fingers yanked at the phone, flipping the screen open. “Voice Mail” flashed across the blinding screen. I quickly pressed on the talk key, listening intently on the other end. “Hey babe – called to say I love you...Miss you! See you tonight. Can't wait! But remember – It's a surprise, so don't even try to ask what's going to happen!” His voice chuckled quietly through the small speaker. 'BEEP! This message was dated December 16th – Would you like to save or delete this voice message?' The tiny voice on the other end rattled on.

Tears welled up in my eyes. My insides were falling apart. A blade was being run over every inch of my skin as my heard skidded to a complete stop. I gasped at the air, trying to breath....trying to feel. In that moment, I could remember his every smell; his every emotion. If only he saw me like this...he would pull me into his arms, press his soft lips to my neck and tell me that he was always there for me. Now, he never would be. How could he break his promise? Tears ran silently over my flushed cheeks, soaking my hand in the foggy liquid. I would never feel the warmth of his fingers on my skin, his fever warm breath against my neck, or those three words that my broken heart ached so intently for. He was gone forever.